About Marriage

Why Do We Get Married?

Let me just start by saying that this is not an attempt to criticize or to demean any one persons relationship or marriage. The main focus is to highlight the issues of unhappy marriages, educate husbands, wives, fiancés and single male and females about the true foundation of marriage.

I can honestly say without conviction that if your intent is not to honor God in your marriage, then you are getting married for the wrong reason. Whether it’s for “Love” (as society defines it), financial security, lust, sex etc, it’s all wrong. The bible declares that husbands should love their wives as Christ loved the Church and for wives to honor their husbands.

Please do not be deterred because God is mentioned. Do your research, for it was God who created marriage. We go to stock brokers and to financial advisers to manage our retirement funds (401K). When shopping we spend hours searching different websites for other consumer reviews and for the best prices available. We owe it to ourselves to know the truth about marriage and only the Bible can give you the truth.

A perfect way to start is by comparing the dictionary definition of Love against the bible definition.

Dictionary (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/love?s=t)

noun 1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.

2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.

3. sexual passion or desire.

4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.

5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?

Bible 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NASB 4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5 does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, 6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails…

Secular Reasons:

Marriage is a God ordained institution where two people make a covenant to love, honor, cherish, and obey each other for the rest of their lives. In the world today marriage is not taken as seriously as God intended it to be and people get married for all the wrong reasons, such as: • For money, power, respect or to gain a higher social standing.

• Because they want to be taken care of and provided for

• Because their family and friends think they look good together or make a perfect couple.

• To escape from problems they are facing in their life.

• Because they are on the “rebound” from a previous relationship.

• Because their friends are getting married.
• To feel wanted and loved.

When marriage is entered into for the wrong reasons the persons involved become discontented with their marriage and/or their spouse and the marriage is not pleasing to God.

Biblical Reasons:

Marriage and family was, is, and will always be God’s idea, it was designed and instituted by the Great Creator Himself. Family was the first institution God created for man and it was the first blessing that man received from God as well. In Genesis God said it was not good for man to be alone and He made a woman to be his companion. God created marriage to be a source of companionship and intimacy. Marriage is a covenant between God and one man and one woman for life. It is a holy covenant that embodies the relationship between Christ and his Bride (the Body of Christ). “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” God also created marriage so that man and wife can help one another serve God. Therefore, couples should not marry until they feel truly ready to love and care for their spouse at the very least as they care for themselves.

Genesis 2:18-24 KJV

And the LORD God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof. And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him. And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 KJV

Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up. Again, if two lie together, then they have heat: but how can one be warm alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. In the book of 1Corinthians Paul states his desires and concerns on marriage saying; he wishes that everyone would choose to stay unmarried and pure so they can accomplish all that God has for them to do. However he says he knows that God has a different plan for each person’s life and that not everyone can remain single. So, Paul says because of the exorbitant amount of sexuality in the world instead of falling into temptation and lust it would be better that each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Marriage is the only accepted path to expressing sexual affections.

1 Corinthians 7:7-8 KJV

For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 KJV

Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Hebrews 13:4 KJV

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Proverbs 5:15-20 KJV

Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers' with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger?

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 KJV

Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. Another reason we get married is to give birth to and raise children. After God made Eve, He blessed her and Adam’s union and commanded them to be fruitful and multiply after their kind. Psalm 127:3-5 says: “Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” God established the family system for rearing children because it produces the best possible benefits for the welfare of the child, this is why it is wrong to have children out of wedlock. The feeling of accomplishment that comes from bringing children into this world and raising them up to love and honor God and be a blessing to the people around them is one of life’s greatest achievements.

Genesis 1:28 KJV

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.

Psalm 128:1-6 KJV

Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD. The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel.

Malachi 2:15 KJV

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

Ephesians 6:4 KJV

And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.